So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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