After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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