And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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