This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Randomize
