I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
