Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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