I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize