That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
