so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
