just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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