I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
