it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
