hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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