i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
