you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
