Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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