why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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