I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
