Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
