I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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