The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
