So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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