Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
