i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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