i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
