If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
