if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
