The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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