The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
