i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
