Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
