I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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