Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
