Whod you bang
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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