whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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