im about as happy as oj after his trial
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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