Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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