just tell him i said nine months
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
