The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
