Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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