I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
