my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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