these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
