how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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