Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
