There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize