apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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