My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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