Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
