K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
