High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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