I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
