Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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