So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
