I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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