sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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