Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
