i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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