Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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