wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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