don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
