I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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