Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
